To: The Muse – The Poet (Audio)

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In the moments just before ink marks the page I know that words will fall short.  For who could capture Her with mere paper and ink?  But I am compelled to try hoping that my attempt, though clumsy and sophomoric, may in some small way reflect back  the beauty that I have recognized in Her.

She is new to me, yet I have known her forever.  Even so I have just begun to experience, to comprehend  Her.  She has captured my attention and stirred longings thought bruised beyond rising.  It is now Her face I seek, Her call that I await.  And in the between times I remember, I wonder, I muse.

I remember Her form, Her fragrance, the way She fits my body.  I wonder how it is that she has so easily assumed this place with me.  I muse about the meaning of this dance begun between she and I.

With Me she is familiar.  She is bold but not brazen.  Her confidence is that of assumed kinship and intimacy.  How is it that She feels like Home?  How is it that a raging passion and peaceful sweet rest can co-exist?

She is dainty yet powerful.  I have watched a dull room energized at Her approach.  Men straighten themselves in hopeful anticipation of Her glance or smile, grateful for any small attention.  Women appraise Her, hoping for an ally, dreading competition with Her light.

Her smile is a magic thing.  It is infectious and sensual.  Her mouth shaped in anger is pouty and full beneath a furrowed brow.

Her movement is fluid and natural as a young doe.  She is at ease and alert.  She is finely wrought and utterly feminine, Her spirit at home in Her flesh.

To be near Her awakens slumbering passion.  To be apart calls forth the Poet, the Bard.  She now has claimed Her place in His story.  She is now set apart.  Sleeping Beauty can now awaken, at least for the moments that the Poet can guard Her heart.

But harken to me!  It is a dangerous thing to call forth the Poet and awaken the Princess.  The story will unfold with many unseen twists and turns.  Exquisite will be the rapture.  Exquisite will be the torment.  Yet that is the nature of the play.  Both comedy and tragedy are required.  Such things are always risky.  But perhaps the Poet and his Muse can create between them a place where the songs can live.

The Offering – Audio

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child's hands

I re-submit this to go along with my recent thoughts on Christmas, Grace, and how one might be led down a blind ally seeking God or truth in doing.

With up-lifted hands I hold my best.
I offer it to you.
With trembling I await your acceptance of my gift
With trembling I dread your rejection.

I am in need. I am broken and out of my brokenness
I have fashioned my offering.
I have pieced it together with much pain and trembling
hoping to please you.

Now it is all that I have.
Every good thing in me has been
made manifest and resides in my gift.
I await your judgment.

As you approach I am borne aloft in anticipation
of your response.
My hopes walk the razors edge between your
delight and your disappointment.

I am reeling! You walked past my gift as if
it were not there.
I was prostrate offering my sacred gift, that which
I had made for you.

I am punctured, humiliated before you.
I shrink, collapsing, naked and ashamed.
Ashes are all.
Ashes, decay, and dry barren dust.

You move into the wasteland of my soul.
Slowly and with great care you search.
Blowing away the ashes while your dirty hands
seek something in the wreck that I am.

My humiliation evaporates as I see that
you heed my filth less than you did my gift.
You find and hold a tiny ember still glowing
somehow beneath the rubble.

I rest like a child in your hands and
again offer my gift to you.
You smile, kiss my foolish head, and with
a magnet attach my gift to your refrigerator.

Glorious Destruction (Audio)

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Can I discover the beauty of you O my Soul?

By what way should I travel in my search?

Some said that if I could merely glimpse you I could rest from my wanderings.

I could be sustained by the glory of you.

The sweetness of your breath, the curve and shape of you, the music of your laughter and the light in your beautiful eyes.

They say before you I will die and be reborn at once.

You the object of my desire, where is your habitation?

I have known you from before forever.

You haunt my dreams.

You lie just outside my waking consciousness.

You have been the force, the pull, that restless hunger in me.

I am dry and barren and almost done.  I need to drink from Your spring that I may live.

I weep wanting you.  But the few tears I have left merely fall and disappear into the dust at my feet.

And my longings may very well break my heart.

But I would joyfully welcome the shattering of myself upon you that I might be pieced back together a better man.

Like a great clipper ship of old I long to crash on to your shores and be broken.

Guide me to that glorious destruction that I might be remade in You.

The Promise of Honey (Audio)

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I dreamed of honey
I dreamed of bees
I dreamed a promise
I made on my knees

As body awakened
My dream it did fade
Sweetness and vow
With Soul though has stayed

She brought me these two
For this time on this day
I hold to them fast
As the rest fades away

A place I have made
The gifts here to hold
Till Her message is clear
And Her wishes unfold

Fertile bounty one clue
Sweet richness I see
And Fidelity’s link
To the honey and bees

What promise I have
Or what promise neglected
The path and its meaning
Its light now detected

She brings me these things
To nudge and to guide me
In hopes I awaken
To the wonders inside me

Thank you sweet Soul
You were tender today
No surreal symbols, no horrors
O’r me love has held sway

I know I am dense
And sometimes I pout
But my outsides are in
And my insides are out

No is most potent

No comes before

Like death precedes life

No opens Yes’ door

She’s taught the word No
Which brought on destruction
Now Yes I shall learn
For my Soul’s reconstruction

Reaffirming the vow
Will fulfill my life’s reason
Consecration now needed
At this time, for this season

Abandon the lie
The first step I made
Saying No to the Other
Foundations were laid

Now to the building
Selecting what to affirm
Carefully now choosing
That which my heart does confirm

Finding Her Groove

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Sun and Moon Jackie

 

The baby is finding her groove.  She seems to like folksy funky stuff.  She is such a cool human being.  She was working on jewelry this morning.  Said she was going to start an Etsy business (if that is the correct spelling).  She is good at putting together outfits from the thrift store.  So she can be a personal shopper – poet – artist – jewelry maker – vet – travel blogger – and folk singer. It is a big world and she can make her’s like she wants.  She is most Groovy! 🙂