Somewhere around 2006 I had a winery. Not the one I have mentioned before but a different one. It was called the Winery on Main. It was located in the heart of a small town close to the Courthouse and the First Baptist Church. (That is a whole “nuther” story.) We did live music on occasion and through a friend of a friend I met some guys fresh out of college who for a few hundred dollars would come and fill the winery with the beauty of their craft. I had written a few songs and hired them to record them for me. I Need You is one of them. Over the years we have remained in contact at least with Chris and Adam and I have watched them become professionals of the highest caliber. They draw large crowds and play all over the world. One of the coolest creative things they have done is integrate their music with live symphony. Their name is Act of Congress. They named it that because it was taking so long for their dreams to be realized. But now as men they command respect, attention, and a whole lot more money than I ever gave them. But we are related by history and love now not dollars. I was remembering those times this morning and thought to introduce them to you. Their music is amazing! Deep and rich and authentic and intelligent and filled with love, are some ways I describe what they do. Visit them at Act of Congress, learn of them, support them, and by all means if you get a chance to see them live be there. They will blow you away! There are many samples of them on YouTube.
I got to the garden Saturday and the tomatoes were so overgrown that I could not see to pick the fruit. The vines were all tangled and were producing so many stems and leaves that air could not circulate. Not really problems, just the result of healthy plants doing what they do. So I set about to untangle and trim what was not needed, again.
Whew! Now I can see and it was like the plants took a long slow deep breath. I got about ten pounds of Tomatoes and three Eggplants. The grape ones are sweet like sugar. Perfect fruit produced within that tangled mess. It is kinda how I am feeling lately. I am busy reaching out to the artsy folk in our area. It is a different world for me. For the last 20 years or so I have worked as “Redneck Headshrink” in a rural county in Alabama. I do individual and family therapy. My multicultural specialities are crackheads, convicts, and Baptists. I am in private practice and contract with the Courts and Schools and Family/Child Services. Typically the referrals are abuse/neglect cases involving drugs, sex and/or rock and roll. I handle most of the domestic violence and drug cases related to children. The cool thing is that one can find perfect fruit growing, even there. But like with the tomatoes they can be easily missed if the overgrowth is not cleared frequently. I have been in that county now long enough that I am on the third generation of some of these families. Along with the ugliness and pain I have witnessed the miraculous in the power of life and hope to overcome what many only know about in theory or the Lifetime channel. These people have taught me poetry as I do it. I have always thought of poetry as the dire urgent need to bring some kind of order and beauty out of ugliness and chaos. I understand real therapy as entering into another’s world with my own imperfections and together creating some meaning, some hope, some beauty.
It is similar with my new jazzy experiments. Me and the guys have been getting together every week to explore our creative combinations. There are different people each week and every week it is different. There are so many different ways it can go. Like with growth in therapy or life in general there is always the ambiguity, anxiety, risk, and then discovering what is groovy, what works. There is a since of “yes” that is the truth. It feels right and alive. If one manages the anxiety then beauty emerges from the unknown, the chaotic on its own. It is not created, it is found or discovered. I am currently reminded to quit trying to figure it out and just go. Explore the unknown cause if the known contained what was needed there would already be rest. In that we still desire there is more to discover. The groove can not be predicted and planned only discovered as we go out not knowing.
One other little thing. Brace up and spend time on what is producing. The Eggplants and Peppers were leaning over because of all the fruit on them. What is working for you right now? Make sure and give it some attention and it will continue to produce in its season. Cut back the overgrowth. Let go of busyness and hangers on and that which is in the way. Remember that perfection may not look perfect and can emerge from what seems to be chaotic if given room to breathe. Tend your garden but remember ultimately there are powerful friendly forces at work which have plans for your good and not evil. Be Groovy!
Guest writer. My favorite poet and thrift store buddy. My baby wrote this. She hates that I don’t use punctuation. Some of you have not seen this yet. It was written by my 15 year old daughter. My kids are so cool.
Alone – For ages, no one there to hold you when your are sad
You are different
People don’t understand you
Do they even try
My brain is different
Though many think I am
Outgoing
Funny
Weird
It is all but a mask
I think that if I am loud and energetic
People will want to be around me
That they will like me
I do this so I don’t have to be alone
The funny part is
I think I want company
That I want a liking to radiate and surround me like smoke
But then, I think of it further and I decide
I do not want it
I decide that it does not make me feel accompanied
But in fact more alone
It makes me feel a sense of aloneness
No one I have met is quite like me
What I mean by this is that I like to write, and listen to classical pianists play
Sometimes the notes I hear rush from the piano
Stealing tears from my eyes
Sadly I do not know what causes the wet drops that birth from my eyes
Believe me, I wish I did
Is it that their playing is so beautiful that I ooze jealousy
Or is it that I relate with the music
Maybe it is that with each note I hear a different emotion erupting from my soul
A new thought, memory, daydream
No one feels this way as far as I am aware
And it saddens me greatly
I like to think that I am normal, just like everyone else
But I can not lie, especially to my self
I like to look at my paintings
I have tried to paint, but alas, I am no good
Even though I am handicapped by the actual action of painting I can still gaze upon the beauty of Van Gogh
Who at this very moment is my favorite artist
The way his paintings mesh so perfectly together, and not one stroke looks out of place
His attention to detail is impeccable
And inspires me daily
Not only are his paintings appealing to me
So is his darkness
He was a sad man, suicidal
But through his darkness a light was shone, his art
He took his darkness and poured it out on to a bare canvas making light
When I think of Van Gogh I feel not alone
I feel like we are, in some odd way, alike
Although I have not found my light like he, his paintings
I have faith I will one day
I am like Van Gogh
We are alone together
I like photographs of my family, of my friends, of strangers
I prefer old photos
As I feel they have more history behind them
But new ones are OK I suppose
Pictures of happy people, feelings of love and warmth
Pictures of people laughing, I love them all
But sad ones I would have to say are my favorites
I feel happy gets old
But sad – When you see a sad picture you get the opportunity to ask yourself why, what happened
I find that interesting
I feel not alone when I see those photos
The sad looking pictures are like me
We relate
I am like the photos
We are alone
Together
Scary movies also intrigue me
The characters in them are also scared and confused
