The Outside Called (Audio)

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phone

The Outside called.

Anxious nauseous anger

Weakness, vitality drains

Like open vein

How should I answer

Scenarios played out in my head

If this, then that, then this, then that

Same old round and round

Seeking answer, resolution, victory

Weaker with each turn of the wheel

Same old round and round

Turning inside I asked Her

I’ve never done that before

She answered, why would you again give away what belongs to me

The answer is not out there, it is here between us

The Outside called.

I didn’t answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Second Half (Audio)

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Calling

I have skills

I have intelligence

I have proven courage

I am creative and imaginative

I have an easy way with people

I am moderately attractive

I am strong in action

I have access to resources

I am healthy

I have led

I have followed

I am experienced

Yet I sit

I am not lazy

I am accustomed to work

But now even marking white screen with black symbols is an effort

To what end

An act of faith, or a shot in the dark

I have

I have

I am

I am

Yet it all seems a mask, paper mache

Wire, paper, glue and hollow inside

Or perhaps a game played but no longer interesting

I seek a calling

A reason

A vision to manifest

A vocation to which I will submit the second half

A new reality on which to focus what I have and who I am

That I may be remade, renewed, restored, and redeemed

I want to be alive before I die

In submission to the true calling of my Soul

I will find my freedom

Drifting – Twilight – Spirit – Calensariel (Audio)

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drifting-into-the-sunrise

Drifting, the current carries me

No oar, no rudder

Surrendered to the flow

Destination lies over the horizon

Rest now, adventure awaits

Twilight, time between times

Sacred space

Stillness, surrender to the muted light

Listen, Wisdom whispers

Sophia is your lover

Spirit, link between

Flesh and intellect

Feeling, sensing, knowing

Interpreting groanings too deep for words

Time for speech is approaching

Promised Land (Audio)

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Gospel – Blues – The first part of the refrain is spoken as in a sermon describing the problem and the counterpoint is almost a shout “But I can see the promised Land from here”. As in defiance of any challenge, problem, doubt, etc. The verses fairly slow and bluesy and the chorus huge and butt kicking. It is intended to inspire faith in the midst of doubt.

Straining through the circumstances
I’m hoping through the wasted chances
Trusting that the Dream is coming true
Seems I’ve tried everything I know
The seeds I’ve planted still refuse to grow
And all I have left is my hope in You

“There is a dessert to cross” . . . (Spoken)
But I can see the Promised Land from here
Through eyes of faith that look past fear
I can see Your promises coming true

No matter what may lie ahead
Disappointment, challenge, victory, or dread
I will choose to see the Promised Land from here.

My weapons seem to be so small
I swing and swing but he just won’t fall
Yet I will pick them up even one more time
Some giants are stopped with just one stone
But this one he won’t leave me alone
And he guards the treasure (that) You said is mine

“There is a giant to slay” . . . (Spoken)
But I can see the Princess from here
Through eyes of faith that look past fear
I can see the battle already won

No matter what may lie ahead
Disappointment, challenge, victory, or dread
I will choose to see the Promised Land from here.

In You I move and have my being
And Your dream for me is what I’m seeing
As I wrestle with who I am in You
I won’t let go until I’m blessed
Though morning’s coming I cannot rest
Cause I know that I’ll be changed before we’re through

“There is a heart to be changed” . . . (Spoken)
And I can see the healing from here
Through eyes of faith that look past fear
I can see the change already come

No matter what may lie ahead
Disappointment, challenge, victory, or dread
I will choose to see the Promised Land from here.

$ Paying Attention $

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It is in the nuanced subtle details that the true soul is discovered.  It is not in the mundane commerce and intercourse of our waking life.

It is not in the habitual presentation of the self through posture, manner, speech, clever lines, or outward stereotyped patterns.  It is never in the masks no matter the power of their allure.   Words spoken may hide as well as reveal.  Flesh uncovered might yet be the last hiding place.

But a pause, a word left unspoken may communicate more than volumes.  Those small traits and qualities that make one soul unique from another are like gems among  rock and sand.  It takes some effort but that is where the valuable material is found.

People always pay attention to what matters to them.

So if someone is paying attention to the details of you, pause.  At least they have glimpsed your singularity.  If they continue they have recognized the unique and exquisite value of you.  By definition then you are valuable to them.  Otherwise they would not pay attention.

It is a compliment in its highest form to be paid attention.

It is a good and life-giving gift.