The Muse

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In the moments just before ink marks the page I know that words will fall short.  For who could capture Her with mere paper and ink?  But I am compelled to try hoping that my attempt, though clumsy and sophomoric, may in some small way reflect back the beauty that I have recognized in Her.

She is new to me, yet I have known her forever.  Even so I have just begun to experience, to comprehend  Her.  She has captured my attention and stirred longings thought bruised beyond rising.  It is now Her face I seek, Her call that I await.  And in the between times I remember, I wonder, I muse.

I remember Her form, Her fragrance, the way She fits my body.  I wonder how it is that she has so easily assumed this space in me.  I muse about the meaning of this dance begun between she and I.

With Me she is familiar.  She is bold but not brazen.  Her confidence is that of assumed kinship and intimacy.  How is it that She feels like Home?  How is it that a raging passion and peaceful sweet rest can co-exist?

She is dainty yet powerful.  I have watched a dull room energized at Her approach.  Men straighten themselves in hopeful anticipation of Her glance or smile, grateful for any small attention.  Women appraise Her, hoping for an ally, dreading competition with Her light.

Her smile is a magic thing.  It is infectious and sensual.  Her mouth shaped in anger is pouty and full beneath a furrowed brow.

Her movement is fluid and natural as a young doe.  She is at ease and alert.  She is finely wrought and utterly feminine, Her spirit at home in Her flesh.

To be near Her awakens slumbering passion.  To be apart calls forth the Poet, the Bard.  She now has claimed Her space, her place in His story.  She is now set apart.  Sleeping Beauty can now awaken, at least for the moments that the Poet can guard Her heart.

But harken to me!  It is a dangerous thing to call forth the Poet and awaken the Princess.  The story will unfold with many unseen twists and turns.  Exquisite will be the rapture.  Exquisite will be the torment.  Yet that is the nature of the play.  Both comedy and tragedy are required.  Such things are always risky.  But perhaps the Poet and his Muse can create between them a place where the songs can live.

Grief – One Tear (Audio)

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Day Eight: Describe a place. I am in a place where material subjects don’t hold my attention very well.  So this is an attempt at describing an emotional space.

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I have penned no words for you since forever

Out of time though, my heart has done nothing but call your name

Over and over I find myself following paths that lead to you

Or rather they lead to places where I realize your absence

The separateness is startling and unreal

Grief too deep for words or tears, for they only well up in me

Perhaps I can not weep because I can not accept or come to terms with it

Or perhaps I just refuse to

But how can I come to terms with what is impossible

Just one tear would contain the sadness of the whole world

Perhaps that is why they will not flow

It would be too terrible

 

Home

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Howling at the Moon

Day Two: A Room with a View

Today’s Prompt: If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

 

There is only one place that can hold my attention
In fact it has called to me from before the foundations
Beckoning senses, whispering to my flesh to seek, to move, to explore
Quiet longings, muted dissatisfaction, boredom, or
Ravenous hunger, desire calling me to go out not knowing
To once again leave that which is Not in search of what Is
I have sorted through much of what is Not
I have traveled to exotic lands and lived among it’s people
I grew, I learned, but what I sought was not there
I searched the ancient writings and consulted the white-haired teachers
I grew, I learned, but what I sought was not there
I played the World’s game, trading myself for the trappings, the spoils of it
I grew, I learned, but what I sought was not there

I became a “Good” man, but the emptiness remained, there in my so-called good
I became a “Bad” man but even there was no sustenance, it too was an illusion
All the things I have seen, all the things I have done
No matter the promise, no matter the sacrifice
Each at the End answered with a resounding No
This is not It
This is not the Thing
This is not the Place you seek
And the space remained empty, longing, aching for consummation

There is a space which cannot be measured or mapped
Its breadth and length are beyond reckoning
The senses lose their bearing on the horizon of Here and There
They are undone, remade, once the Masters, now the Slave
Eyes may notice a form that quickens the blood without reason
The ears may hear a sound, a voice that stirs, that lifts ever hopeful Soul
The tongue may savor a kiss, exquisite and unique, a taste reminiscent of Home Coming
A fragrance may enchant, loosening the bonds, connections which bind soul to body
Waves of energy course through flesh as it crosses the threshold of There
Tender, sweet, intimate expanse, it now Exists, boundaries have no meaning
I is left behind as something new bursts into Being
Lifted up, energy, light, fierce passion, quiet rest, as two become One
At once a place of losing and finding, forgetting and remembering All
This is my Home
She is my Beloved

Soap Bubbles on the Wind (Audio)

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How can I form the words?

What shape would they take?

Like a child I repeat the words of others.

I have no words of my own to capture and hold the content of my heart.

Like soap bubbles on the wind my thoughts emerge and float and burst.

They have dimension, glisten in the light, and wobble in the air,

Then Pop, at the slightest disruption of their tenuous presence.

I am in ferment.

Dumb, I am without speech.

There is only longing.

Frozen Spring (Something’s not Right) – Audio

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This is the coldest Spring I’ve known

The bright green of the new season breaks without me

Pinks, yellows, whites, reds, purples, and blues, emerge all around

They signal that Spring has come

The bird-songs rise with the sun

They call and woo one another in preparation for new life

The sun is warm on my skin but its heat does not reach my core

The wheel has turned and I am left behind

This is the coldest Spring I have ever known