Wake up Sleepyhead

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Dawn_Real-You_Alan-Watts

Ease is the natural state, harmony the true habitation

There is a reason for the dis-ease

It signals, it beckons, it prods

Dis-comfort is god’s grace

Dis-satisfaction does not allow one to rest in the wasteland

Like a splinter in the mind, itch needing scratched

It plays on the fringes of consciousness

Where the frayed sparking edges of the matrix can be perceived

Signposts pointing beyond the current constructs

Go toward that which terrifies

The soft places where there is no defense

Raw, exposed, vulnerable

That is the space of transformation

Surrender control and just be

It hurts, it frightens but it won’t eat you

Silly boy, you are made of stronger stuff than that

Let the false, frightening, fiction, fade

Hold the ground along the narrow middle way

Waves will wash over threatening your balance there

Be still and let them pass

Suspend belief so that you might know

Once you know, belief is no longer needed

Now no more bouncing from side to side like a pinball in a game

Seeking solace, addicted to flesh’s temporary fix

A junkie hooked on the drugs of thinking, fixing, doing

Yes – no, good – bad, right – wrong, same old round and round

Answers, solutions are not in a game designed by others

One that is cast like a net upon the sleeping masses

The way leads out of the trap and into the paradox

The lesson requires unlearning, dying so that life may emerge

What Is calls and heralds a new morning

Wake up sleepyhead, time for dreaming is done

The Secret Hidden in View

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A friend suggested this and it was worth the 20 minutes.  I was struck by the similarities to my own process.  I’ve just gone about it in another way.  She is a researcher of Shame and Intimacy.  She spent years knowing “about” the process as a way to objectify and control her own insecurities but finally discovered the key.  She is funny and smart.

The Sower

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The seeds are sown and await the judgement of circumstance

The soil, the birds, the weeds will all have a say

The weather will be what it will

The sower sows the seeds but the Creator makes them grow

It is out of his hands now

Words, his seeds were sown into new and unknown soil

There are no guarantees, the seed must die, no strings attached

The illusions of yesterday and tomorrow call like Sirens toward the rocks of stagnation

Don’t become stranded there perishing, thinking, wishing, wasting

Action, risk, Being is required

To utterly fail is a success and is no shame, it is shame’s illusion that binds and enchants and seduces calling the soul towards slumber

Cast into Now, that space between the ticks of time, let go, no clinging

Risk the loss of a seed in hand for a hundredfold return

Open the hand to give,  empty it of the old so there is space for the new

A new garden is needed, the old no longer sustains

It has become dry, worn, and overused

Take the best seeds and cast them into the unknown

Do not shrink or draw back in the face of it

Speak your words boldly, sow them with generosity and care

Fret not about the ones which do not sprout, let them go

Look only for the ones which do, attend and care for those

Waste not yourself on what is Not

In the end your task is only to sow

Intention and creativity are yours

It’s the Creator’s grace though that shapes what will be, in accordance with the true desires of your heart

And remember that even the seeds are not your own, they are gifts too, why would you horde what was intended to be given away

Stir up those gifts, bring them into the light, sow them freely

Give them away so that you may receive back the bounty of the One who is the giver of the seeds

Garden Update

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The babies have grown in the sunshine and everybody seems happy.  Even the eggplants are better after I dusted them with some organic pesticide stuff.  The leaves had taken a lot of damage but new leaves are already replacing the old.  Everything is flowering and getting ready.

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I used the cut bamboo from last year to make a trellis for the tomatoes.  I will add a string lattice as they grow.

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It won’t be long before I can start picking these.  Fresh vine ripened tomatoes are the best.

20150523_112226In the lower right you can see that the blackberries are beginning to turn.  The Cucamelon vines are growing up the trellis.  It is a job keeping the Golden Zucchini and the tomatoes cut back to give them light for now but soon they will make there own way into the sun and can stand on their own.  New things require some attention in the beginning.  I have started some new things myself lately.  scary, exciting things but I think with a little attention those seeds will grow into something I have never tasted before.

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This girl is already producing but she will require some attention.  My meditation and gift from the garden this week is that being intentional does not require tons of work, just intentional action.  Thinking about a garden does not produce a harvest.  There is always the option of providing for oneself from another’s garden.  There is no shame it that.  Their intention and their action made the provision available.  Their business provides jobs, their art provides beauty, their thoughtfulness creates intellectual work that can inform.  For now, at this time in my life it is my task to dream a dream and plant new seeds and act so that there is a new garden, my garden, that has never been before.

20150523_111800The Squash and the Zucchini and the Peppers and the Eggplant and the Tomatoes and the Basil will all become part of a fresh Spring dish I make with chicken and pasta and a little red sauce.  I use Italian seasoning along with some Cajun for a little kick.  The mint I use for edible decorations on desserts.  What the garden is teaching me is that to create a new space is possible even in the midst of a busy and sometimes chaotic life.  There is much that is outside of my personal control and yet there is much within it.  So often we trick ourselves into thinking or trying to wish things or circumstances into existence.  We can find ourselves exhausted having accomplish nothing towards our dreams.  But intention combined with action will bring about change.  The cool thing about me making a new garden in my life is that once the seeds are sown they do most of the work, but I do have to sow them and attend to them a few times a week.  Recently I have sown some new seeds in my life.  Some “crazy” ideas hit me and instead of thinking about them or writing a poem or trying to make the same old crap finally work out differently again, I made some calls, had some conversations.  Low and behold people were receptive to them.  They are still germinating for now but they have been planted.  I will attend to them as I have the Cucamelons and soon under the Creator’s grace I will taste something new that will provide for me.  Are there seeds you may want to sow this week?  Is there something that feels crazy but wont get out of your head?  Sow it! What’s the worst thing that could happen?  Make a call, do some research, send out that email, have that conversation.  You never know what might come up.  Be Groovy! 🙂

I Found (Audio)

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Day Thirteen: Serially Found

I watched the weather of me through the day to see if perhaps there was something there
I noticed that it changed, unbidden as though another turned its dials
Sometimes the taste of that place between green and violet was broken by mountains of stark white cotton stretching from horizon to horizon
It called to something in me which wanted to be in that place of awe and wonder, but it passed over
At other moments my sky was filled with shades of gray and black ominous and threatening, fields of energy, alert to danger
The impulse to cover, to hide was strong but I remained still and it passed along with the rest
All I found there was that the weather of me shifts its shape to suite the situation
There was nothing profound there, nothing to hold on to, it just comes and goes as it wills

 

I sought meaning in the deeper things to see if there was some nugget, some treasure there for me
I noticed the Sage of me arise from the depths, ready to pronounce profundity
He sat on his throne, voice lowly intoned, gentle condescending words doled out to the yielding seekers needing a light, a way, a Wizard
And then another, a chocolate haired little boy, with dark brown eyes and freckles dotting his nose and cheekbones
He sought to woo with innocence and pouty lips, seeking attention, protection, love, crooked smile, shaggy hair, smelling of sunshine and romance
Then in the midst of my looking I heard Him laugh. The Jester, my tenuous but always faithful friend
He reminded me that what I was seeking would not be found in the costumes my ego wears
The profound can be another distraction and a game, as too the dance of affection What I sought was not there

 

Then, I watched the watcher, paying attention to my paying attention
Remembering again, that I know very little and how easily distracted I can be
Caught up in a self that is fleeting like the weather, changed by the currents on the wind around me
Hidden behind masks that can at times be mistaken for me, leaving me alone but entertained or distracted
I laughed along with the Jester. He always tells me the truth, especially when I take myself too seriously, or not seriously enough
Like trying to scratch an itch in a mirror, I sought but did not find, for what I wanted could not be found there
A wonderful playground of experience and love and learning and hope and grief, but playground it is, for it will not last
In seeking I found. I found that there is really no need to seek that which is not lost.

 

Come home boy it is time for rest.