I have decided

I no longer want to change the world

I have failed utterly at that

My powers spent in futile efforts

I am weak

I am so tired I can only focus on what is right in font of me

The huge problems can no longer even hold my attention

But even if I were interested

I can do nothing to alter the current manifestations of the same old shit

There is nothing new under the sun

Well there is Facebook and Twitter and and 24 hour news cycle that spikes anxiety on a mass scale now

Good thing there is 24 hour shopping and all manner of distraction now so that like crackheads we can move between anxiety and binge, anxiety and binge

But nothing is new

Just goes round and round faster

I am jumping off that ride

I don’t think that I am big enough for it anyway

Let the would be movers and shakers be moved and shaken by all of that

I’ve played that game and got the t-shirt, several in fact

But why in the hell did I do all of that for a f..ing t-shirt

I need to focus on something small, something less grand

Perhaps I can start with one thought

I can change one thought

I can do that

I can say yes when I mean yes and no when I mean no

And if I don’t have an answer I can say that too

I can do that

I can be faithful to my promise

I can do that

OK

If I can do those few things

That will change me

And if I am changed then, the world by definition is altered

At least in some small but real way

So if I change me I will change the world after all