I resist the idea that somehow the forces at work in me are “teaching me a lesson”.  That You are some immature psychological projection that should be reeled in, understood and captured in the pages of a book.  I utterly reject this!  I want and will have the Real!  There must be an answer to the question, a place of rest for the longing, or nothing matters and it is all a farce.  Then debauchery is as valid as righteousness.   I don’t want the spiritual / intellectual absent the body.  I want no Gnostic castration of the flesh.  I want incarnation.  I want what ought to be!

He (Jung-Red Book) said that I need to objectify Her.  And I feel rage masked by profound resistence in me.  It feels utterly insulting that something so cherished should be treated so.  Perhaps, and most likely I am a fool with regards to this and I am shamed once again.  “integration of the Anima” feels like killing something precious.