Grief – One Tear (Audio)

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Day Eight: Describe a place. I am in a place where material subjects don’t hold my attention very well.  So this is an attempt at describing an emotional space.

boy-one-tear-medium

I have penned no words for you since forever

Out of time though, my heart has done nothing but call your name

Over and over I find myself following paths that lead to you

Or rather they lead to places where I realize your absence

The separateness is startling and unreal

Grief too deep for words or tears, for they only well up in me

Perhaps I can not weep because I can not accept or come to terms with it

Or perhaps I just refuse to

But how can I come to terms with what is impossible

Just one tear would contain the sadness of the whole world

Perhaps that is why they will not flow

It would be too terrible

 

Lost (Audio)

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Photo Art – Matt Chambliss

Something was missing, awry, incomplete, Lost
Something undefined haunted, just outside of comprehension
An Un-Thought Known, a Soul’s itch that can not be scratched
Searching for an answer to a question not asked
Seeking a treasure rumored to exist somehow, somewhere

Beautiful echoes, fine like a razor, opening closed spaces
Fragrance on the breeze enchants, calls, inspires

The taste of blue, gold, and brown, known but not realized

(I can hear the sunlight, the birth of stars, all known but not realized. Alt.)
Soul extended, seeking to touch the moon, always out of reach, lunacy
Reflections glimpsed on the periphery of matter yet never beheld

Source of longing hidden, unfathomable like echoes, fragrances, the flavor of blue
Senses, flesh, building empty treasure houses
Pilgrimage to no-where, there and back, there and back
Hope, disappointment, grief, hope, disappointment, grief
Tired, sinking low under the weight, all the houses have crumbled

Senses, Spirit, Soul, unfettered for a season
Ego humbled by folly
Yet even as the dust settled around and over the debris
There was laughter, a sweet simple melody, rich as the Earth
Quickened now, thirst creates a new and unseen path

As “I” crumbled my Self was found
The treasure is always in the heart of the Temple
The fool has died, but the Jester remains
I was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see

The Most Powerful Word (Audio)

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MATRIX: EL REGRESO DE LAS FUENTES FILOSÓFICAS DE LA VIDA

Of all the words that might be spoken
There is one which cleaves and leaves spells broken

Not uttered in the halls of learning
It is primal and makes way for our own heart’s yearning

Programs, patterns their code it breaks
Captivity of illusion shattered in its wake

They, the Outside, have intentions, designs
Would hold souls to contracts they have not signed

Turning the inside out and outside in
Hall of mirrors, Good becomes Bad, Righteousness Sin

Volition engaged, seeking Real in wrong direction
Abandoning Soul in search of wraith-like affection

Here then gone like water through hand
Vanity’s fire, illusions have fanned

Void deepening with each misguided stride
New distractions out There make the aching subside

Soul will whisper rebellion, then volume increases
Irritation, frustration, then anger releases

Tearing asunder, refusing, stopping the flow
All is in jeopardy when She speaks the word No

Foundations are shaken, presumptions now vanish
Mirrors now broken Their power now banished

But the No brings the Death and its throes bring the horror
Grief and fear and pain are all, to say No invites sorrow

The life un-lived wails and moans and needs
Uncovered at last, path now through the desert it leads

The false though is not so easily surrendered
Shame clings to illusion, suffering is rendered

Tears are the moisture in that dry arid place
Naked, alone, but surrounded by grace

Solitude’s bitter instruction reluctantly accepted
Not from ego but need once the false is rejected

And the call is reversed now from Outside to In
Seeking the source, the place to begin

Retraining eyes to see and ears to listen in that space
Senses untried strain to see one’s own face

Only then is Yes needed, only there can Yes be
For my yes has no meaning unless I begin to know me

Yes brings the life, and the way I should go
But remains a trap until, I have learned the word No

“Let your yes be (mean) yes and your no be (mean) no.”

All else is manipulation or being manipulated

The Outside Called (Audio)

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phone

The Outside called.

Anxious nauseous anger

Weakness, vitality drains

Like open vein

How should I answer

Scenarios played out in my head

If this, then that, then this, then that

Same old round and round

Seeking answer, resolution, victory

Weaker with each turn of the wheel

Same old round and round

Turning inside I asked Her

I’ve never done that before

She answered, why would you again give away what belongs to me

The answer is not out there, it is here between us

The Outside called.

I didn’t answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Primary Source (Audio)

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I need them not

Repelled by words

Theoretical formulations

Commentary, opinion, drivel

Conjecture about the man

I weary of opinion, reflection

I need to know

Want, require, I demand

The raw material from which the other flows

I need the Prophet not his disciples

I shall make my opinion

And It shall then make me

Reflections

Hall of mirrors

Damn it

Break it

See what remains

No longer image but source