Insides are Out (Audio)

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Something is severed

Tween my heart and my pen

My insides are out

And my outsides are in

 

Watching it all

As it scampers about

But perspective evades

when one’s insides are out

 

Seeking those lines

Tween who I and who You be

Though befuddled for now

It shall all be most Groovy!

 

Sitting still as it settles

Watching new meanings unfold

Just telling the truth as I find it

Of and to my own Soul.

(Been going back through last year’s stuff to see what I may have left behind)

The Promise of Honey (Audio)

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I dreamed of honey
I dreamed of bees
I dreamed a promise
I made on my knees

As body awakened
My dream it did fade
Sweetness and vow
With Soul though has stayed

She brought me these two
For this time on this day
I hold to them fast
As the rest fades away

A place I have made
The gifts here to hold
Till Her message is clear
And Her wishes unfold

Fertile bounty one clue
Sweet richness I see
And Fidelity’s link
To the honey and bees

What promise I have
Or what promise neglected
The path and its meaning
Its light now detected

She brings me these things
To nudge and to guide me
In hopes I awaken
To the wonders inside me

Thank you sweet Soul
You were tender today
No surreal symbols, no horrors
O’r me love has held sway

I know I am dense
And sometimes I pout
But my outsides are in
And my insides are out

No is most potent

No comes before

Like death precedes life

No opens Yes’ door

She’s taught the word No
Which brought on destruction
Now Yes I shall learn
For my Soul’s reconstruction

Reaffirming the vow
Will fulfill my life’s reason
Consecration now needed
At this time, for this season

Abandon the lie
The first step I made
Saying No to the Other
Foundations were laid

Now to the building
Selecting what to affirm
Carefully now choosing
That which my heart does confirm

Silly Putty

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Image result for image silly putty comic

I feel the grief behind my eyes, in my throat

I did not realise that it was there till just now

It is the reason the world has gone flat

Like a comic strip

Shapes and colors and words

In two dimensions

I wish I had some Silly Putty

To hold and squeeze and smell and feel in my hands

I could capture the images and make them my own

I could stretch them into new shapes

Add more depth

Some times seeing things backwards can help

A different angle may be what I need

Maybe then I could find a place for the past to rest

There is sadness in change

Even when it is necessary and right

Sighing for what is not requires my attention

Even as I create what is, and is to come

I think I will go find some Silly Putty

I need to play

Seriously, I need to play

 

Garden Update – Bugs

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Just as I was entering the season of harvest I arrived to check on the garden and saw three of the Zucchini plants decimated and prostrate, yellow and brown and full of bugs.  June bugs!  Hundreds of them.

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I didn’t get any good pictures of the bugs because when I saw what was going on I quickly began to pull the plants out of the soil and get them out of the garden.  I was ill.  Hundreds and hundreds of them were busy making their home there in my garden.  Eating and mating and laying eggs to provide for their next generation.  I remember why they are called June bugs now.  The plants and the fruit was ruined.  My intention and vision for that pace was taken over and used for another’s purpose.  They did not ask or say thank you or even kiss my ass.  They had their own purposes and set about to accomplish them.  After I calmed down during the clearing of the mess I remembered seeing some small signs of them last week which i did not attend to.  By not acting then I in effect gave my leave for them to do as they willed in my garden.  With no deterrent from me I guess they felt they were entitled to whatever suited their needs.  There are some people like that.  Those who seem to just take what they want as though their needs, wants, whims, should be addressed simply because they are.  The problem is that many times they intrude into others’ gardens to satisfy them.  If they are not deterred there is a risk the garden will be ruined.  I was raised in the Christian faith and from childhood was taught that I should be kind.  I agree with that.  The problem is that many times that sentiment is not correctly interpreted.  It is taught as though the command is to “be yea nice.”  But kindness and niceness are very different things.  Nice always says “yes” even when a “no” is required.  It can be sweet and gentle but it can also be weak and allow predators in with the sheep.  Kindness is based on a true response to a given situation.  Kindness seeks the yes but can if need respond with an unequivocal  hell no.  It was not the June bugs fault that they wanted my garden.  It was beautiful and lush and rich.  An ideal place for them to reproduce.  It was my fault for allowing them to get a foothold and then not acting after they did.  I saw a short video which may be instructive.

I am guessing the boy went home and perhaps rethought his life’s path.  What ever was the result I am guessing he did not attempt to put down roots in the big boys garden anymore.  I think there are times in a person’s life when god’s will for them is a swift ass whipping.  I think that it is most likely the only hope for stupid.  I am not promoting violence but force is the only thing a bully understands.  It may just save their life later on.  A skinned knee and a knot on the head won’t damage a boy, but being allowed to continue down a predatory path may just lose their soul.  Even Jesus gave some folks a good country ass whipping with a whip he made himself.  He was clear, decisive, and used appropriate force.  I don’t think the money changers harbored any doubt about his intention and willingness in that matter.

Are there people in your life who have been allowed to bully, and take, and intimidate, and set up shop in your temple?  God’s will for them and you is that they do not inhabit your garden.  They need to cultivate their own.  And it is incumbent upon us to tend and protect what was entrusted to us.  No, or even hell no, is also kindness.

Lesson remembered.  So I looked around and found that there was a Yellow Squash and one Zucchini that I doctored and trimmed and may yet salvage.

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I planted a young Zucchini and two purple Russian Heirloom tomatoes in the empty space.  The young Zucchini will probably last through the late summer into fall and the tomatoes are something I have never grown before.  So, it’s all good.  I planted watermelons in the large container and they should be pretty spilling down onto the hay in a month or so.

20150620_133010The cool thing about all of this is that in spite of the little setbacks the garden continues on producing its fruit.  Perhaps not my original intention but this may even be better.  I was going to have way too much Zucchini anyway and the Cucamelons in this container were stunted because the plant in front blocked the sun.  Now they have full sun everyday and can grow.  Plus I can have some watermelon to go with the cantaloupe.

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Just remember that bugs nor bully’s give a shit about you.  If there is going to be a shit given about your garden or your temple it will need to be you who gives it.  Cause if you don’t no one will.  And remember that grace sometimes comes in the form of a knot on the head.   Be redneck Groovy! 🙂

 

 

Alone Together – Guest Blog, My Baby (Audio)

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Guest writer.  My favorite poet and thrift store buddy.  My baby wrote this.  She hates that I don’t use punctuation.   Some of you have not seen this yet.  It was written by my 15 year old daughter.  My kids are so cool.

 

Alone – For ages, no one there to hold you when your are sad

You are different

People don’t understand you

Do they even try

My brain is different

Though many think I am

Outgoing

Funny

Weird

It is all but a mask

I think that if I am loud and energetic

People will want to be around me

That they will like me

I do this so I don’t have to be alone

The funny part is

I think I want company

That I want a liking to radiate and surround me like smoke

But then, I think of it further and I decide

I do not want it

I decide that it does not make me feel accompanied

But in fact more alone

It makes me feel a sense of aloneness

No one I have met is quite like me

What I mean by this is that I like to write, and listen to classical pianists play

Sometimes the notes I hear rush from the piano

Stealing tears from my eyes

Sadly I do not know what causes the wet drops that birth from my eyes

Believe me, I wish I did

Is it that their playing is so beautiful that I ooze jealousy

Or is it that I relate with the music

Maybe it is that with each note I hear a different emotion erupting from my soul

A new thought, memory, daydream

No one feels this way as far as I am aware

And it saddens me greatly

I like to think that I am normal, just like everyone else

But I can not lie, especially to my self

I like to look at my paintings

I have tried to paint, but alas, I am no good

Even though I am handicapped by the actual action of painting I can still gaze upon the beauty of Van Gogh

Who at this very moment is my favorite artist

The way his paintings mesh so perfectly together, and not one stroke looks out of place

His attention to detail is impeccable

And inspires me daily

Not only are his paintings appealing to me

So is his darkness

He was a sad man, suicidal

But through his darkness a light was shone, his art

He took his darkness and poured it out on to a bare canvas making light

When I think of Van Gogh I feel not alone

I feel like we are, in some odd way, alike

Although I have not found my light like he, his paintings

I have faith I will one day

I am like Van Gogh

We are alone together

I like photographs of my family, of my friends, of strangers

I prefer old photos

As I feel they have more history behind them

But new ones are OK I suppose

Pictures of happy people, feelings of love and warmth

Pictures of people laughing, I love them all

But sad ones I would have to say are my favorites

I feel happy gets old

But sad – When you see a sad picture you get the opportunity to ask yourself why, what happened

I find that interesting

I feel not alone when I see those photos

The sad looking pictures are like me

We relate

I am like the photos

We are alone

Together

Scary movies also intrigue me

The characters in them are also scared and confused

Looking for a way out just like I am

I am like the characters

We are alone together

Although people may be like me

I am still alone

And so is everyone else

We are alone together