Internal Revenue Service (Audio)

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I don’t feel like writing

At least not from that place I usually do

For all that has passed between the Inside and Out must be accounted for

Books will have to be reconciled

Accounts receivable and those owed need attention

My Internal Revenue Service has called me in

Hundreds and thousands of transactions

What did I profit?  What have I lost?

Good and Bad, opposite sides of the same coin

A medium of exchange, but not the currency of the Soul

The bureaucrats tally as I struggle to explain with no paper-trail

There is currency now in my words

They create a lasting record

A new Order will be created

New precepts will provide the foundation

A new government will arise

Not based on the Dialectic

Hegel understood but only in part

Now  Integration, Re-creation, and  Consummation

The bedrock cleared and cornerstones laid

Behold, a New thing

Yet even so, old accounts must be settled

Poetry comes in many Forms

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I should have taken some pictures of the before.  There was 2500-3000 pounds of wood hanging fourteen feet in the air that needed to get to the ground without tearing something or someone up.  It was old and wobbly and was getting unsafe for humans to be on.  It seemed a rather simple proposition initially.  I thought “just tear it down and build another one.”  While that was a generally true statement there is a lot more involved.  Needless to say there were at least two incidents were I needed to run, then jump down the hill to avoid falling timber and broken body parts.  But after the dust settled it was down and we were still whole.

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Next came the multiple trips to Home Depot.  Partly because I could not carry everything on the trailer and partly because there is always something unexpected or forgotten.  One load of four.

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The next step involved figuring out how to hang 2500-3000 pounds of wood back up over empty space.  We had six and eight foot stepladders, some scrap lumber, and a poet who is not friendly with heights, shaky ladders, and wobbly frames.

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But in the end you do what you have to do to build the supports.  I was promised that all of this was the hard part.  I forgot to mention what it was like to set the 6×6″ post on the side of a hill with nothing to hold on to.  I was glad is was done.  And it was perfectly square and level and solid when we were finished.  It took a day and a half to get this far.  I was hoping my friend was right about the hard part.

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That is Chris, the brains of the operation.  He was right about the process.  Once we got the floor joists in the floor was a fairly easy job.  I have always admired people who are craftsman, who can take raw materials and create useful things.  It is his poetry and creativity and a mind who thinks of the world differently than mine that made it possible.  I think in terms of words and concepts.  He can envision a shape and a process and make it materialize.  The hundreds of things he knows without thinking.  He just does.  It is his poetry, his art.  And he figured out a way to hang 3000 pounds of wood in the air.

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That is my oldest baby. 6’5″ 240 lbs.  He showed up and helped with the floor.  Several hundred screws later that part was done.  It is solid.  I could build an addition on the platform.  We upsizes all the lumber and the supports.  The main things this project made me realize is how much I appreciate people who are masters of a craft and that I am older than I remember.  In the midst of this work I pushed myself like I was thirty.  Never thought much of it.  I spent much of my young adulthood working construction, offshore in the oilfields, I have always been active.  But Sunday evening I remembered those times where a long time ago.  I can still do it but not for as long and I need some rest in between.  Be Groovy. 🙂

Garden Update – Suckers

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Everything has really taken off.  The rain and sun and soil have converted tiny seedlings into adolescent, robust plants.  They are strong and green and growing.  The tomatoes have grown almost a foot since last week. One of the issues with gardening in a small space is managing the boundaries of each plant.  They have a tendency to wander out of their intended area and intrude on their neighbors.  The plants can compete with each other, choking each other out.  They send out all manner of green seeking to occupy as much space as possible.  But the green does not necessarily produce the fruit.  The green is required but can also just take up space, wasting energy that would be better directed toward the fruit.

Indeterminate tomatoes, which just means they keep growing all year, need a little looking after.  The determinate ones kind just stay in their own lanes. The ones that I am looking after are indeterminate and can be unruly if not attended to.  What I discovered Saturday morning was that the tomatoes were a tangled mess and needed some work.  Because they were all grown together in such dense space it was difficult to see where one stopped and the other began.  There was no circulation under the plants and they could not breathe.  This kind of situation can be a breeding ground for various molds and rots and nasty stuff that could damage the babies.

“Suckers” are new growth on a tomato that just uses energy and takes up space.  When ever I work with these plants I am aware of a reluctance to prune.  There is a “what if” in the back of my mind.  What if I cut too much?  What if I am not doing it right?  What if I cut the wrong place?  There is slight anxiety connected with it every time.  But I know it needs to be done.  Generally I am somewhat tentative in the beginning and a pattern will gradually emerge with each plant.  They will tell me what they need if I pay attention.  These needed air to circulate around the young fruit.  I pruned all the lower suckers along with anything not growing upward.  As I worked on the plants I thought about how  I may need pruning too.  Where am I overgrown, and stuck, and needing fresh air?  What or who in my life is just taking up space and using energy that should be directed toward my own fruitfulness?  Why am I sometimes reluctant to prune my own suckers?  I think perhaps the many aspects of my life can become overgrown and tangled.  It seems at times that there is a lot going on, but the fruit is sparse.  The leaves and the green are not the point.  The point is the fruit.  I know that I can fake myself out at times focusing on all the “suckers” in my life, thinking that distraction and activity and the rut is actually going to produce something.  There is only so much energy, only so many days.  If the purpose of life is my particular fruitfulness then there are some “suckers” that need a ruthless pruning.  I have to quit holding onto and hoping that the same old same old is finally going to produce what I need.  Let go boy, you control freak.  Have faith.

20150530_151455Much better!

20150530_151604Now I can see what I want.  Air and light can circulate.  It looks kind of awkward and naked for now.  Pruning feels that way.  It is a bit frightening.  But I did not hurt the plants.  I heard them breathe a sigh of relief.  Now they are better able to focus on growing upward toward the sunshine and producing fruit as they go.

20150530_151735Cucamelon update.  They are reaching out climbing the little trellis I made for them.  That is my job with them.  I only need to provide for them a place to grow.  We can be so easily stagnated when we forget that we can not make anything grow, even our own self.  So much energy and time can be wasted in anxious waiting, planning, seeking perfection in form.  We can daydream our life away and never plant the seeds.  Tomatoes and even the Cucamelons are not beautiful in their forms.  They just grow.  The beauty is in the fruit.  I was reminded that perfection is not in perfect form but in the process and its result.  The process of growth and change can at times seem ugly and pruning can feel wasteful, but it only because the fruit is not there yet.  There is not much more beautiful than a set of gangly vines hung on string and old bamboo filled with red ripe tomatoes. That is perfection.  There is a proverb that goes something like this.  “The barn is clean (perfect) when there is no bull.”  But when there is no bull there is also no life.  The barn can be clean and in perfect order but nothing is happening.  Bring a bull inside then it gets messy.  There will be some shit to step in and things will get broken but there will be life going on.  Perfection is not sterile.

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This is the grotto.  There are five peach trees set out in a semicircle in front of the Winery.  She has a name and is a place dedicated with intention 4+ years ago.  Wedding are held here.  In the early spring they are filled with pink blossoms.  The blossoms were the reason I planted them in the first place.  The little trees have grown and matured.  The one pictured on the far right had a fungus its first year which stunted its growth.  But I doctored it and it is quickly catching up with her sisters.

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I planted them for blossoms and now each year they give me fruit.  I just needed to make a place for them to grow.  That is my only responsibility.  I planted them with great love and tenderness attached and they have been most generous ever since.

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Lunch.  I picked some golden Zucchini and Squash Bell Pepper and fresh Basil.  I sauteed them in olive oil with some onions and garlic.  I added some red sauce and shredded chicken and lots of black pepper.  I served it over cold spaghetti noodles with Parmesan cheese.  I like the contrast of hot and cold especially on a hot day.  Had a glass of Pino Grigio with it. Sav Blanc would have been better but I’ve not made any of that in a while.  Most Groovy!

Garden Update

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The babies have grown in the sunshine and everybody seems happy.  Even the eggplants are better after I dusted them with some organic pesticide stuff.  The leaves had taken a lot of damage but new leaves are already replacing the old.  Everything is flowering and getting ready.

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I used the cut bamboo from last year to make a trellis for the tomatoes.  I will add a string lattice as they grow.

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It won’t be long before I can start picking these.  Fresh vine ripened tomatoes are the best.

20150523_112226In the lower right you can see that the blackberries are beginning to turn.  The Cucamelon vines are growing up the trellis.  It is a job keeping the Golden Zucchini and the tomatoes cut back to give them light for now but soon they will make there own way into the sun and can stand on their own.  New things require some attention in the beginning.  I have started some new things myself lately.  scary, exciting things but I think with a little attention those seeds will grow into something I have never tasted before.

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This girl is already producing but she will require some attention.  My meditation and gift from the garden this week is that being intentional does not require tons of work, just intentional action.  Thinking about a garden does not produce a harvest.  There is always the option of providing for oneself from another’s garden.  There is no shame it that.  Their intention and their action made the provision available.  Their business provides jobs, their art provides beauty, their thoughtfulness creates intellectual work that can inform.  For now, at this time in my life it is my task to dream a dream and plant new seeds and act so that there is a new garden, my garden, that has never been before.

20150523_111800The Squash and the Zucchini and the Peppers and the Eggplant and the Tomatoes and the Basil will all become part of a fresh Spring dish I make with chicken and pasta and a little red sauce.  I use Italian seasoning along with some Cajun for a little kick.  The mint I use for edible decorations on desserts.  What the garden is teaching me is that to create a new space is possible even in the midst of a busy and sometimes chaotic life.  There is much that is outside of my personal control and yet there is much within it.  So often we trick ourselves into thinking or trying to wish things or circumstances into existence.  We can find ourselves exhausted having accomplish nothing towards our dreams.  But intention combined with action will bring about change.  The cool thing about me making a new garden in my life is that once the seeds are sown they do most of the work, but I do have to sow them and attend to them a few times a week.  Recently I have sown some new seeds in my life.  Some “crazy” ideas hit me and instead of thinking about them or writing a poem or trying to make the same old crap finally work out differently again, I made some calls, had some conversations.  Low and behold people were receptive to them.  They are still germinating for now but they have been planted.  I will attend to them as I have the Cucamelons and soon under the Creator’s grace I will taste something new that will provide for me.  Are there seeds you may want to sow this week?  Is there something that feels crazy but wont get out of your head?  Sow it! What’s the worst thing that could happen?  Make a call, do some research, send out that email, have that conversation.  You never know what might come up.  Be Groovy! 🙂

The Babies

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Thorn-less blackberry babies.  The bloom has begun.  The bees are busy about being bees.  This is the second year for these vines.  Last year most of their energy went into establishing good roots.  This year should be amazing for the vines and the fruits.

20150425_122414Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of little peaches.  Will need to thin them well.  There are five of them planted in a semi-circle.  They are four years old and are special to me.  I have good memories attached to them and their pink spring blossoms.  They make a little grotto were many people have their wedding ceremony.

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The Cucamelon seeds are sprouting.  They should be ready to plant in a few days.  Can’t wait to try them in July.

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My favorite part about gardening and my favorite part about a lot of things, the sitting down after and thinking about what might happen because of what you’ve done.  I like swings just about any time.  My grandmother taught me about them.  Be Groovy! 🙂