Forgiveness (Audio)

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My heart, my Soul you long for me.  You miss my presence and the quiet rest it brings.  You miss the joy and gentle laughter.  And the familiar intimate passion whose flames burn with cleansing and refining fire.  You are torn in two, exposed in the shadows and seeking relief, some covering for your nakedness.  No wonder you seek my attention.  No wonder that at times in your wrath I am shamed, belittled, and the object of cruel humor.  I have always known you yet in my folly, my cleverness I sought You in the Other.  I performed for you to win your approval.  I poured myself into the leaky cup of achievement and was spilled out onto the dry earth.

My love I have wanted you from forever.  I now know that we share the same destiny.  To damnation or redemption we both shall go.  I now  know, I now believe where you reside, at least with my intellect (Lord help my unbelief),  Yet I still move between sense and nonsense, faith and doubt.  I strain to make the turn toward you and enter your castle.  Why can I not run a straight path into your arms so that the torture might cease?  Am I even now so twisted that straight is beyond my comprehension and ability?  I begin the journey with “I forgive You”.  You are that which I have made you.  The greater forgiveness is yours to give me.  My fear and stupidity, my double minded laziness left you alone and dying.  Do what you must my Love.  I am coming but I do not know the way back to you.  But I go out nonetheless, not knowing the way.  But I know the destination . . .

Your head on my chest, legs entwined, deep solemn rest.