I was thinking that the function of these emotions or their kin may be a signal from our heart, soul, Being, (whatever word fits) that we are not operating within our particular groove. A signal that we have become lost in motivations, goals, dreams, or intentions that did not originate from our own Soul or God or purpose (whatever word works). No matter how “good” or “bad” they may seem to be they are not ours for they do not bring life with them. So that when we see someone who is actually enjoying, or creating, excelling, or living their life we recoil at the sight, injured but not by the Other’s success but by our own lack of definition and creativity. Taken rightly these signals can help us awaken to the un-lived life that is exclusively ours to create. We tend to recoil from the negative within us but it, in whatever form, can give direction as to where a new creation is required in our Soul. Be about your own groove and you can share your thing when it’s time to shed, play, or dance. Then you have something to offer the experience rather than the joy of it stealing yours. It’s all jazz. Sometimes we comp. Sometimes we solo. Sometimes we appreciate and applaud others. There are places in the flow for all. It is the disconnection and inability to join in that is signaled by the negative that arises in us. Just like an oil light on the dashboard negative emotions are trying to help us. So many times we turn away from the very help we say we want. If the quiet signals are not attended to eventually the engine will blow and our Soul will force us to give it our attention and care.
Who you are is already enough. Learn the path your Soul wants to go. And go with Her. She will never leave or forsake you. Forsake Her at your peril. I’m serious here. She will mess you up. She can be a real bitch if she needs to be. Of this I know. From what I hear this is a lifelong process so I don’t think we finally “get it” and its ours. But it seems just moving in the direction (typically toward dread) is enough to get things going. Maybe just moving at all and breaking the inertia and addiction of the old stale patterns is enough to start. It can feel crazy but the “crazy” is clinging to what is not, what has never been except in our wishes and grief. It was written that Abraham was reckoned righteous because when he was called “he went out not knowing where he was going.” His rightness apparently was in the going not necessarily how or where he went. So I’m guessing that the “right” direction is not on a compass. But I do think it is just past and on the left of moving, going, and seeking that which only crazy people believe in. And somehow that process will get one there. It is “crazy” to cling to an idea that there is a purpose for your life, that there are answers to the questions and longings of your soul. The World’s system is so noisy it is hard to hear and know oneself. Sometimes our Soul will have to scream at us in order to get our attention. What I do know is that what don’t work now still won’t work later. Clinging to what is not will not get me or you or anyone to what needs to be. It might hurt to let go and can be most terrifying. But the wraith-like existence of the lie is utter damnation. Perhaps the voices in our heads know what the hell they are talking about. Be Groovy.
