Somewhere in Summer

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Art – Matt Chambliss

Hot, wet, sultry summer

Damp heat hangs heavy, thickening the air

Shallow moist labored breaths

Weighty footsteps, deliberate, tread one by one

No relief in sight

The longest day is done, passed

The dry time approaches, baking earth

Greens rule today but browns will break when the earth cracks

Followed by yellows orange and red

Upon awakening I sensed a slight shifting signaling

The beginning of the end of the summer season

Zenith reached and turns toward tomorrow

Which yet lies over the horizon, out of view

The march of days has begun toward the next

The fragrance of Fall will secret itself between the rise and setting of the sun

Cooler crisp air will fill the spaces abandoned by the heat

Finding its place and quietly holding it until the coming of the cold

The waning has begun, a slow silent leak

Expansion halted now recedes, contraction begun

Longing for the sharp cold to cut through the malaise

To energize me once again in that time between seasons

Where the death of summer births the winter

For now I will trudge step by step along my way

I will harvest the final fruit of this year’s effort

Thankful for the grace of its bounty and provision

Yet wishing for something new, more, other than what I have produced

It was new ground, hoarded seeds of Self reluctantly surrendered, sown into the dark unknown

Trepidation’s trembling all along that way but ultimately unheeded

And now there is a new garden growing, one that has never been before

Something original done by my hand that only exists because I prepared and planted it

Triumph of risk over failure’s fear, an odd idea, a dream made manifest in the flesh

To have done the thing is something but what was I expecting

I was just experimenting and exploring the unknown of me, seeing if I could

It’s clear I can but now what, for what, I don’t know

As the seasons of me turn over and over, round and round, I unfold in unexpected ways

There remains a vast expanse of unknowing, my doing and being somehow reflecting that mystery

Maybe there is no ultimate answer to it.  My being says do and my doing says just be

I do know that is it hot and wet and green and that I can

But right now it is hard to harvest hazy thoughts in this heat

And I contract slowly like the season knowing that another is even now on its way to me

The slow warm exhale of what has been empties me, making room for a cool crisp new life giving breath

So, now sustained by what remains I await, I trudge, I harvest and save the seeds for a new, new garden

Perhaps that is the way of things

After the doing is done there is only being

Buds break becoming blossoms then just soak in the sun for a season

Until they are spent, color fading falling back to the earth to become part of the new that is to come

Yes, surely that is the way of things

It is somewhere in summer boy.  Why would you expect it to be different than it is

Sometimes I don’t know about you.  You will be complaining about the cold soon enough

Be Groovy! 🙂

Garden Update – What to do when you get Chewed On

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Been gone for a couple weeks.  Everything has been about its business and is thriving.  But . . . the deer have discovered this little space.  Apparently they have a taste for Collards and Cabbage and Brussel Sprouts and Swiss Chard.

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They have not touched the Chicory or the Kale yet.  It is so pretty still.

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Likin’ some Swiss Chard.  Guess they are balancing out their greens.

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They are killing the Brussel Sprouts and it is not even cold yet.  So what does one do when they are getting chewed on?  One thing I have to remember is that a perfect garden is one that produces not some ideal symmetrical form only truly understood by Plato himself.  I remember the initial vision I had for this place when I planted it.  Sometimes it seems things don’t turn out like I planned.  Really they usually never do.  It is not even surprising anymore.  Is it not true that many times it is the imperfections of a thing or a place or a person that makes them endearing, unique, singular?  Perfection can be boring and lack character.  I know that it is from the weird, broken, insecure, place in me that the best stuff finally emerges and makes me, me.  I also know that this little place will still provide some delicious meals.  The cool thing is that even when we get chewed on it will grow back.  Be Groovy. 🙂

Garden Update – Final Harvest

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My little garden has been productive this year.  There have been unforeseen challenges and welcomed surprises that required some adjustment and effort.  But that is the way of it.  The sun and the rain and the dark time did its work and will forever remain outside the control of the Gardener.  I controlled what I could and attended to each plant according to its need and nature.  But in the end I have little control over the outcomes.  My power lies only in preparing the soil and selecting the plants and caring for them.  I think the main lesson for me this year is how little power I have.  That realization has actually been a comfort.  To realize and remember that I exist connected to a world that allows for my input but needs little from me to do its thing.  I can not make a plant grow or produce its fruit.  I have no influence over the sun or rain.  Such things rest in a power much greater than me.  My garden has reminded me to relax and withdraw from all the striving I am apt to engage in.  I get to choose and envision and have been given resources to play with but they are not mine to direct.

My garden has also reminded me that I am more similar to a tomato plant than I am to that which makes it all work.  I am “a seed growing secretly,” a “branch on the vine,” a “tree planted by the living water.”  The “farmer plants the seed but the Creator makes them grow.”  I am not responsible for my growth any more than I am for the growth of my garden.  So often I have lived in strife and the anxiety that comes with forgetting who and what I am.  All the wasted energy and time spent in futile efforts at playing god.  Fretting over things beyond me and totally out of my influence and control.  Wasting the moments that could have been spent focused on what is actually within my purview.  I have spent much of my life in anxiety and self doubt, striving to be something and abandoning who and what I already was.  My worry and discontent and striving could no more make me produce than me pulling on a tomato vine trying to speed its growth.  All that might do is at best nothing or it could damage the emerging vine or its roots.  We were encouraged to “be anxious for nothing” for the anxiety inhibits the intention and unfolding of me.  My little garden has reminded me to relax and curiously observe and celebrate the developments as they happen in me.  They are as the Creator wills and are according to my nature.  It is only in this place that I have found rest.

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The last fruits of the season. The girls were sweet and like Goldilocks said “Just right!”  Looks like fried Eggplant, Peppers, and green Tomatoes.  I battered them with Cajun seasoned flour and egg and fried them crisp.  They were good.

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Blank slate again.  I tilled this season’s straw into the earth.  It provided a pretty bed for the plants to rest on and helped hold in the moisture during the drier times. Now it will provide organic matter and space for the new roots to dwell.  And as it breaks down further it will help nourish the new plants.  Everything in its season.  The interplay of growth and decay and the changing seasons are a part of those larger forces in which I move and over which I have little sway.  But I can at times, if I am paying attention, harvest the fruit that is available.  And if I am wise I will stop depending and hoping in the future of plants or things or people who have run their course. At some point they take much more than they give and no amount of work will change what is.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to pull em up by the roots and make room for something that holds more promise for the coming season.

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The changing light of the shifting sun, the cooler weather, the desire for my garden to produce created this.  A Fall garden.  The Fall has always had an impact on me.  I tend to get more “romantic” in the classic sense.  It opens me up and makes me want to believe.  That belief in Beauty and Truth and answers to deep longings can be painful when it arises.  But it is also wonderful.  To live without that is dull, ill defined, and exists in the mundane.  Stale air and conversations and the tepid focus on what could have been.  The thing about the romantic impulse is that it’s consummation is a fleeting experience.  It meets every expectation and leaves one breathless and aware of the exquisite fully awake, alive.  But then like the tide it recedes and leaves the soul exposed and longing for that which has washed over.  A taste of home but just a taste.  A taste which leaves one hungry for more.  Settling into “real” life and it’s predictable patterns can bring some numbing comfort I guess but the Soul gets smothered and sometimes lost there.  So does one risk the danger of opening, seeking, searching, allowing the intimate secret Self to hope once more?  Or is it wiser and more prudent to be realistic and settle for how things are?  I guess it depends on the Soul.  Me, I am going to make a garden and hope even though I know there will always be a space between what I imagined and what is manifest.  Cause without the risk there would be no garden at all, just wishes and regrets about what could have been.

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Cabbage and Chicory, and Collards, and Kale, and Brussel Sprouts, and Swiss Chard.  This little space will be full and beautiful soon.  But it too will thrive and decline with its season.  But I would rather have beauty even though it is fleeting than not at all.

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A weeks progress.  Will give them a fresh bed of straw soon.  I don’t mind the effort cause it will be beautiful if only for a season.  Be Groovy! 🙂

Garden Update – Supporting my Girls and Sauce for the Musicians

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I really like melons!  The right ones even smell sweet.  They can make my mouth water and wanna just bite em.  They are all different and the same at once. But is their uniqueness that make them interesting.  There is some underlying genetic and nutritional stuff that determines the broader outlines of them.  That is the same part. Assuming that those things are covered care can make a difference. The different, unique, interesting elements emerge out of how their are treated, their exposure to the sun, and how gently or roughly they are handled.  If they are healthy and generally well treated a little rough handling will not damage them.  In fact it might actually invigorate them.  With this in mind I set about to let the girls know they were wanted and thought about and attended to.  I found that many of them were laying in the dark damp straw, wrinkled and in danger of growing prematurely soft.  So I provided support, raising them proudly toward the sun, and resting them on firm supports.

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She required even more attention and special accommodations.  Some melons are encountered in unusual circumstances and if one truly cares about the melons in their life they will be creative and do what is necessary to attend to them.

 

Hanging there suspended with no support She was in distress.  So I fashioned a place for her to rest.  I measured Her with my palm then using cloth and a little wire, customized an accoutrement for her comfort.  I am of the mind that if a boy don’t take care of his melons he should not complain if they are not available when it comes time to harvest.  Just cause one is hungry don’t guarantee the melons will be around.

 

The Purple Russian Heirlooms are starting to show little ones.  There should be a bountiful harvest before Fall.  The tomatoes and peppers and basil are bountiful.  So much so that after providing the Bistro with fresh vegetables I brought some home to make something to bribe the band.  We have a show booked for the 19th so I am motivated to get everybody together.  As with melons musicians require some care.

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This along with some white onion, fresh basil, fresh garlic, a handful or two of some speciality spaghetti seasoning, ( know it’s not cool but it tastes good) and some hot Italian sausage will become the bribe that will fetch the band.

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I will let it simmer another hour or so but the grape tomatoes are so sweet I don’t want to loose the sweet freshness by overdoing it.  I have good crusty Italian bread and will go get a couple or three bottles of good Italian wine.  So just know that tomorrow around 12:00 central.  We will be taking a break, opening the wine and digging in.

I was thinking about how all of this is interconnected.  I think that at heart I am a poet.  I write with crayons,  a garden,  psychotherapy, bras for melons I love, spaghetti for the musicians I love, and comments for bloggers I love.  Poetry is love.  Be Groovy! 🙂

Garden Update – Too Much Green

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I got to the garden Saturday and the tomatoes were so overgrown that I could not see to pick the fruit.  The vines were all tangled and were producing so many stems and leaves that air could not circulate. Not really problems, just the result of healthy plants doing what they do.  So I set about to untangle and trim what was not needed, again.

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Whew!  Now I can see and it was like the plants took a long slow deep breath.  I got about ten pounds of Tomatoes and three Eggplants.  The grape ones are sweet like sugar.  Perfect fruit produced within that tangled mess.  It is kinda how I am feeling lately.  I am busy reaching out to the artsy folk in our area. It is a different world for me.  For the last 20 years or so I have worked as “Redneck Headshrink” in a rural county in Alabama.  I do individual and family therapy.  My multicultural specialities are crackheads, convicts, and Baptists. I am in private practice and contract with the Courts and Schools and Family/Child Services. Typically the referrals are abuse/neglect cases involving drugs, sex and/or rock and roll.  I handle most of the domestic violence and drug cases related to children.  The cool thing is that one can find perfect fruit growing, even there.  But like with the tomatoes they can be easily missed if the overgrowth is not cleared frequently.  I have been in that county now long enough that I am on the third generation of some of these families.  Along with the ugliness and pain I have witnessed the miraculous in the power of life and hope to overcome what many only know about in theory or the Lifetime channel.  These people have taught me poetry as I do it.  I have always thought of poetry as the dire urgent need to bring some kind of order and beauty out of ugliness and chaos.  I understand real therapy as entering into another’s world with my own imperfections and together creating some meaning, some hope, some beauty.

It is similar with my new jazzy experiments.  Me and the guys have been getting together every week to explore our creative combinations.  There are different people each week and every week it is different.  There are so many different ways it can go.  Like with growth in therapy or life in general there is always the ambiguity, anxiety, risk, and then discovering what is groovy, what works.  There is a since of “yes” that is the truth.  It feels right and alive.  If one manages the anxiety then beauty emerges from the unknown, the chaotic on its own.  It is not created, it is found or discovered.  I am currently reminded to quit trying to figure it out and just go. Explore the unknown cause if the known contained what was needed there would already be rest.  In that we still desire there is more to discover.  The groove can not be predicted and planned only discovered as we go out not knowing.

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One other little thing.  Brace up and spend time on what is producing.  The Eggplants and Peppers were leaning over because of all the fruit on them.  What is working for you right now?  Make sure and give it some attention and it will continue to produce in its season.  Cut back the overgrowth.  Let go of busyness and hangers on and that which is in the way.  Remember that perfection may not look perfect and can emerge from what seems to be chaotic if given room to breathe.  Tend your garden but remember ultimately there are powerful friendly forces at work which have plans for your good and not evil.  Be Groovy!

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