Father

A Father’s Province – Audio

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They have eyes of blue and hearts of gold.

Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.
They are of me, yet profoundly Other than me.

Their dependence decreases, moment by moment, choice by choice, as personality and character coalesces. Soul becomes known.  Small round bodies, unsure, become angular, strong and elegant.

Hints of the ancestors glimpsed, reflected in appearance,
posture, and mannerism.
Shadows of their mother and I emerge as different facets turn,
reflected in the light of their living.

See the man arise beneath the surface of the boy.
Hints of the woman foreshadowed in the girl.
Each unique and other worldly as a snowflake,
yet familiar as my own breath.

I am startled to recognize their autonomy –
their separateness from me.
And in that sacred space between the roles we play out in Time, flashes of their glory leave me awed.

They are my equal yet better than I.

Recognition of their immortality, the deity inherent in their volition saddens, yet brings strange comfort.  I grieve the blow to my ego.

I have much less dominion over them than I imagine,
yet I am greatly more important to them than I know.

They are neither damned by my weakness
nor necessarily elevated by my substance.

They are free and I am humbled.

I am Daddy to these three souls, at least for now.

And within the bandage of Time they are to me what they can be to no other and I am to them what no other can be.

While inhabiting the boundaries of this dressing we play out appointed roles.
Yet in Eternity we will have had and shall ever be One.

They have eyes of blue and hearts of gold.

Those have been and will ever be constant through the metamorphosis of flesh, circumstance, and experience.

Those same eyes which gazed up to me at the dawn of their journey will look down upon me at the ending of mine.

And yet our hope holds fast that when Time is finally swallowed by Eternity we will then know as we have been known.

We will recognize and finally comprehend the glory
of the everlasting souls with which we have journeyed.

Hearts pure, refined, and utterly alive.

Then together we can all play once more in the presence of the One who has watched over us all.

Your Daddy loves you very much.

But, I love you more.

Daddyhood (Audio)

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I like being a Daddy. This is my baby. She is 18 now and soon to leave the house. A couple years ago we would get up early on Saturday mornings and hit the thrift stores. I would her and talk and learn about who the soul was that called me Daddy. She is in transition now. Her soul preparing her to leave our house and begin making her way in the wider world. And because she is a sensitive and aware she is feeling the changes. She is active with school and art and show choir and friends and and and . . . yet from time to time when it is quiet she will seek me out to talk or sit or laugh or cry. You know, we have not been to the thrift store in a while. I’m thinking we need to do that again soon.

I am Daddy to three souls.

This is my baby.

We go to the thrift store

I watch her sort through thousands of options

Choosing pieces that somehow effect and affect her

She puts them together in ways that are her own

She explains to me the difference between “granny” and “granny chic”

She tries to help me comprehend the subtle categories she has developed

I watch her choose and express herself

And in her choosing and expression I know her

I admire her sweet courageous soul

I love that she does not want to be different for difference sake

She would say that is as boring as being just like everybody else

She is wanting to be her

She is a glorious and brilliant thing

She is in search of her particular groove

I also like that shirts are $3 and blue jeans are $5